Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
When asked if I believe in God, I have usually replied with, "I believe in the power of belief, so I do think there's a higher entity in the universe, regardless of what name we give it."
While this belief was somewhat supported in my recent read of The Big Questions of Life by Om Swami, it was also given a fundamentally new perspective along with many other profound insights that I'm excited to share in this article. I found this book to be one of the few self-help books that are succinct, objective and provide examples and inspirations from various cultures (rather than encouraging the Western hegemony). I hope this article inspires you to pick up the book and give it a shot!
About the Author
Om Swami is a serial tech entrepreneur turned monk. He received his BBA and MBA degrees from Australia, founded a multi-million dollar startup, after which he went on a journey of renunciation in the Himalayan foothills. He has written 15 best-selling books, including The Big Questions of Life where he attempts to answer some of life's most fundamental queries.
I divided his teachings into 3 main themes.
1. Our Interpretation of Grief/Pain/Struggle (Reality vs Perception)
Om Swami makes a clear distinction between pain and suffering, where pain is the objective truth of what's happening to us while suffering is our (often exaggerated) interpretation of what's happening.
"As is the way of loss, it is rarely about the absolute nature of the loss itself or its magnitude, and more about how victimised we feel."
He goes on to explain the nature of struggle itself. He mentions that while pain is inevitable, suffering is optional, and it depends on our perspective of how we interpret "struggle".
"Our struggles shape us, they define us. I'm not saying all struggle is good, but I'm asking if it's really struggle. How does a bodybuilder build his body? He has to undergo resistance training if he's serious about growing and chiseling his muscles. He can look upon lifting weights as a struggle or a rewarding task."
2. Healthy Detachment and Expectations
'Detachment' is a prominent theme explored throughout the book, equating true freedom and sense of peace with 'letting go' of people and material possessions because 'the only truth of this world being impermanence'. As someone who admittedly struggles with the fear of 'losing anyone I love', this philosophical perspective on detachment was a bittersweet lesson. Detachment to material possessions and the idea of a higher salary, better luxuries, even to success and to failure etc. however, was far easier to digest.
"O, the finest archer!' Krishna says to Arjuna, 'the yoga of equanimity is to maintain your steadfastness in the face of both success and failure, it is to act with a degree of detachment.' (Bhagavad Gita 2.48)"
He also differentiates between detachment and resignation:
"I'm often asked, shouldn't we be passionate about our pursuits? Of course, you should be, that's correct. But detachment is not resignation, but the understanding that to make objective decisions, I must, now and again, distance myself from my pursuit so I may gain a different and a better frame of reference. It is only then that you get to see the complete picture, the three sides of the coin: left, right and the edge of the coin."
"At the breakfast table, a woman said to her husband, 'Honey, last night, I dreamed that you gave me a necklace of pearls. What do you think it means?' Smiling, the man kissed his wife and whispered, 'You'll know tonight.' Surely enough, that evening, he came home with a small, beautifully wrapped package. She undid the tape, and unwrapped the package to see a book titled 'The Meaning of Dreams'. We dream of life giving us a necklace of pearls when it's actually planning to give us the meaning of our dream. This mismatch is the chief cause behind why most people are forever riding an emotional roller-coaster."
3. Being Kind to Yourself
Another major theme is the importance of looking inwards and freeing oneself from external judgments, vices and fears. Om Swami stresses the importance of being kind to yourself - if you make a mistake, apologize earnestly; if you are overthinking, first stop and identify that you are, and then meditate. There is no reason to keep unkempt thoughts inside you to rot, and there's usually an easier method to stop the overflowing fervors of the mind.
"When cells take the wrong path and start to attack the organ they live in, we call it cancer. Tearing thoughts are a kind of autoimmune failure of the mental body."
He also shares a quote from the Buddhist Layman Pang (740–808): "When the mind is at peace, the world too is at peace. Nothing real, nothing absent. Not holding on to reality, not getting stuck in the void, you are neither holy nor wise, just an ordinary fellow who has completed his work."
Coming back to the question of existence of God, Om Swami whole-heartedly agrees with the idea that God exists. However, this God is not responsible for our successes, not our failures. He is not to be blamed or to be praised. He is objective, impartial and 'Nature of being' itself. He states, "Nature runs its course most indiscriminately and dispassionately, with the greatest detachment." When I mentioned that there is power in belief during tough situations, I do maintain it. However, there's a scary relief in understanding that the strength ultimately lies with you, your thoughts and your interpretations.
To conclude, The Big Questions of Life by Om Swami proved to be a concise yet a profound read with a diverse set of perspectives from spiritual leaders and social thinkers. I would definitely recommend it for your next TBR.